Be Encouraged: How is your self-esteem?
by Donell Maxie
Nov 04, 2012 | 938 views | 0 0 comments | 8 8 recommendations | email to a friend | print
In this crazy thing we call life there are times when we become hurt by other people and seem to lose our way.

I believe every one of us at one time or the other have struggled with self-esteem and jumped into the deep-end of self-pity.

My prayer today is that we all learn how to deal with people who seem to hold a great deal of control and influence over our lives.

Too many people are living with depression, frustration and hurt because they have allowed someone else to do something to make them feel less attractive, not as smart, etc.

When thinking about self-esteem and building it I decided to do some research to define it in its non-biblical sense and this is what I found about creating it and how it affects you.

Building esteem is a first step towards your happiness and a better life. If you have low confidence or low self esteem you will find it impossible to be the person you could be and your happiness will be limited.

Self-esteem increases your confidence. If you have confidence you will respect yourself and then you can respect others, improve your relationships and become happier.... this is not a selfish goal as you will contribute more and share yourself with the world and those around you.

On the other hand, people with low self-esteem experience depression, unhappiness, insecurity and low confidence. Other's desires may take preference over yours. Inner criticism, that nagging voice of disapproval inside you, causes you to stumble at every challenge and challenges seem impossible.

This topic came center stage for me when a friend of mine talked to me about how they started to feel poorly about themselves. Basically my friend is dealing with low self-esteem and someone who is supposed to care for him or her has caused it.

Many people will say that you shouldn’t be bothered by what other people say or think about you but that’s easier said than done.

Because of what my friend was going through the element of self-pity had started to set in and I need to make this perfectly clear; God wants us to turn away from self-pity.

In Proverbs 15:13 it reads, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.”

To offer solutions to people who are experiencing low self-esteem I found these suggestions on

• Face your fears - challenges seem scary but your fears are usually exaggerated. Facing your fears increases your confidence and boosts your esteem.

• Forget your failures - learn from them. Avoid making the same mistakes again but don't limit yourself by assuming you failed before so you can't succeed this time. Try again; you're wiser and stronger. Don't be trapped in the past!

• Know what you want and ask for it. Learn about being assertive - you deserve your dreams to come true!

• Reward yourself when you succeed. No one else will! Isn't everything easier when you take time to help yourself? Make a list of your successes and focus on the positive.

• Talk - We often make assumptions about a situation or person, which are not true. Your attitude and behavior can be negatively affected so if you have any doubt or question ask and don't assume you know why or how.

• Don't be defeated! Try something else. You are not going to be defeated by one failed attempt are you? Doesn't everyone fail before they succeed? All you need is a different approach. Good luck! I wish you happiness and success.

Keep the faith and stay encouraged. M.J.T. Love.

Donell Maxie is a staff writer for The Bolivar Commercial He can be reached at 843-4241 or e-mail him at